the magic of pride and prejudice

I have watched BBC’s 1995 Pride and Prejudice miniseries starring Colin Firth and Jennifer Ehle approximately 1,460 times. And tonight it will be 1,461. You should have seen my face when I got called out like that watching the Barbie movie in the theater. It’s no surprise that P&P is a popular comfort show; that’s been a joke since Bridget Jones. That someone besides me might be watching it every night to fall asleep was something I hadn’t considered. I’ve since met other fans and frequent viewers, of all ages and genders and backgrounds. What makes Pride and Prejudice so timeless and broadly appealing? Specifically that 1995 production of it?

Jane Austen’s works are boring to some, and should sound boring to everyone. Not much happens. No journeys or adventures. No fight scenes or sports wins, no milestone coming of age moments. It’s really just people talking and going to other people’s houses. But this is Austen’s magic, her mastery of character and dialogue. Each character is clearly defined without being cliche. Though written over 200 years ago and imaginary, these characters are relatable and familiar to us. Don’t we all know an overbearing, anxious, braggadocious Mrs. Bennet? (my grandmother) A cold, judgmental, standoffish introvert Darcy that’s secretly soft-hearted? (me) Mean girls like the Bingley sisters? (too many) That obnoxious boss from your retail job in college that, like Mr. Collins, only ever talked to brag about his boat/car, micromanage and correct you, or try to flirt?? (disgustingly, there’s more than one name I’d put here). Austen was writing from her perspective and life experiences and is it really that different? Most of our lives take place in the dialogue, just talking and going to other people’s houses.

And we have to mention the greatest romance trope of all time: enemies to lovers. A searing passion that you can’t name at first. They just get under your skin. They become all you think about. Everything you do, you hope they see it. You want to either impress or intimidate. As days or weeks or months pass, your spite cools to curiosity, and that eventually melts into affection. Who doesn’t love a slow burn? And the fact that the families are against the couple, too? Like Romeo and Juliet? Perfection. Pride and Prejudice has been the inspiration behind countless RomComs for a reason.

I’ve been picking apart my own obsession with the miniseries. The most obvious appeal is nostalgia. I first read and fell in love with the novel in high school, when I was around 15 or 16 and having my first romantic relationships. I bought a tattered, yellowed paperback for a quarter at the local library used book store. I can remember lying in my childhood bed, staying up too late, and reading this brittle little book, its back cover dangling, its distinct “vintage” smell. Seeing the 1995 BBC production a few years later really brought beloved characters to life. I don’t prefer this version simply because it’s the first one I watched, or that it’s from the 1990s, or that it has Colin Firth. I prefer this version, and honestly have not been able to finish viewing another version, because most of the dialogue is taken directly from the book. If you try to condense any book down to a 90 minute film, you inevitably lose too much of its essence. The 1995 BBC production is expertly cast. Colin Firth is the Mr. Darcy I had in my mind. Jennifer Ehle is Elizabeth Bennet. No one could give us a better Mrs. Bennet than Alison Steadman. And bless David Bamber, I’m sure he’s lovely in real life and I know that he’s had a long, successful career with many roles since, but he will always be creepy Mr. Collins to me.

One night, say around the 653rd viewing, it occurred to me why I really seek comfort in Pride and Prejudice every night. It’s the second chances. The forgiveness. The understanding and empathy. Being open to changing your mind. I, like all humans, mess up at least once a week. I make quick judgements as a defense mechanism, telling myself that if I reject them first, they can’t reject me. I stay on the edges of a crowd and rarely let people in because I’m afraid they will push me away eventually. Why start if I know it won’t end well, if I see already that we “won’t have anything in common.” But at the end of the day I realize I haven’t protected myself at all, I’ve only prevented myself from connecting to others. I’ve only made myself more lonely and miserable. I’m proud of Mr. Darcy, and relieved, when he finally realizes his mistakes and makes efforts to fix them. I can also be stubborn and inflexible like Lizzie. I have friends like Charlotte, whose choices I do not understand or approve of, only to eventually realize they make the best choices they can, and it’s none of my business. I witness an undesirable trait or behavior in a person exactly once and assume that is how they behave at all times, that is who they are at their core, and I will not budge to forgive them. I relish finding evidence to support my assumptions without considering the source. Until one day I am frustrated and defensive that someone assumed they knew me based on a single interaction, mortified that they thought I was snobby or careless when truly I’m just shy and scatterbrained and they saw me at my most overwhelmed or irritated. Darcy openly dismissed Lizzie and her family, her hometown and her lifestyle! He talked loudly for everyone to hear about what an unattractive bumpkin she was and influenced his friend to abandon her sister! Lizzie fell for Mr. Whickham’s lies and spread gossip about Mr. Darcy throughout multiple counties! She did not even try to hide her contempt. And yet they soften. They learn new information that changes their opinions. They keep talking and giving each other second and third chances. Forget the slow burn and the enemies to lovers and the supremely wealthy man that sweeps me off my feet and saves my family from poverty; what I really want is forgiveness. Redemption. (well, and the beautiful grounds of Pemberley).

“oh! do not repeat what I said then!”

I drift off to sleep, my mind at ease, knowing all will be forgotten and I will end up happily ever after.