the magic of nostalgia
I remember buying bell bottom jeans and peasant blouses as a teenager in the 1990s and my mother, a teenager in the 1970s, being amused that trends had come back around and made her high school fashion choices cool again. Now it’s my turn to marvel at my teenage nieces buying wide leg cargo pants, crop tops, and claw clips. I often get questions from younger folks in my life about what it was really like to not have a cell phone or social media, what did I do with my friends and what bands did I see? (I enjoy being able to search the web at all times and call someone if I need to, we mostly hung out at each other’s houses and watched movies, Natalie Merchant and Indigo Girls at Lilith Faire, Weezer).
There are now countless instagram, TikTok, and YouTube accounts focused on 90s nostalgia. Posts about how much we miss Old Navy fleece, Tamagotchi, Delia’s catalogs, those weird Orbitz drinks. Yeah I miss those things, too. (except the Orbitz, ew.)
But you know what I really miss? People. Humans. Real face to face conversation. And believe me I am shocked to hear myself say that because I am about as introverted as they come but what can I say? It was a simpler time. You needed to buy something you had to get dressed and leave your house and go to a store and ask the salesperson if they had it and where. And you always found what you needed in town because the stores kept things in stock! There was no just ordering it cheaper online and having it shipped next day. And some stores knew you and your family! As a teen it sometimes creeped me out and showed the nosiness of a small town but now I love it when local shops remember me and greet me if not by name then at least by my regular order.
You wanted to meet up with friends you had to communicate effectively and directly. If you agreed to meet in front of Claire’s in the mall at 6 pm on Friday it was important that you actually showed up or called well before to cancel. You couldn’t just text me at 5:55 and say you weren’t feeling it. If you flaked and didn’t show up I’d think you were seriously ill or grounded or something and I’d have to find a quarter to call my mom to pick me up and take me back home and then I’d have to awkwardly call your house and talk to your mom and nobody wants that. To this day I hate making a phone call. I haven’t been to a dentist in over a year because I think I’d rather be dropped off in the woods with the clothes on my back and told to forage and survive for a week than call for an appointment but at least when I had to call and make appointments in the 90s a real human answered the phone instead of “please listen as our menu options may have changed. For appointments press 1. For billing inquiries press 2.” I am so sick of that automated voice that I fantasize about throwing my phone in a wood chipper as soon as I hear it.
And I miss all those third spaces. The mall was an actually fun and relatively safe place to hang out! Our parents dropped us off and we walked around and shopped for hours and maybe stopped by the arcade. We’d buy little things like lip gloss or matching earrings. We’d run into other teens from different schools and maybe flirt a little but exchange fake names and lie about the school we attended because there was no internet! Unless he happened to catch me in uniform at a regional band competition, we both knew we’d never see each other again. The innocent fun of anonymity and privacy! You can’t even keep a finsta a secret for more than a week these days.
I hate sounding like one of those cliche old people that disparages the culture of the current generation. I can’t yell and shake my fist at today’s world as if I don’t have 5 Instagram accounts, Threads, Bluesky, Discord, and Reddit. As if I don’t wake up and Google random things at 2 am or place yet another Amazon order for a toy my cat doesn’t need and will play with exactly once. As if I don’t even carry a wallet because I use tap to pay everywhere. As if i’m not the friend that’s flaking on you via text at 5:55. And I certainly don’t think the 90’s were the “good old days” and I wouldn’t want us to go back to the way we were because….well that’s a whole other post but i’ll summarize by saying “yikes”.
I would like to see people and places make a comeback. Real life connection and conversation. And maybe salsa flavor doritos and printed magazines. The magic of nostalgia is enjoying the rosy glow of memories but also being grateful for progress we’ve made. Learn from and appreciate the past while anticipating and creating a better future.
